Those nights....

Did you ever had that feeling? "That's it, my head's gonna explode right now, that's for sure." Well I feel like that pretty much each evening.  My sweet litte S (1,5 years old) spends most of the day screaming, and I mean horror-like S.C.R.E.A.M. Sweet big S (yes, both of my daughters names start with S) is almost 4 and arguing over stupid things, crying and generaly just naughty and disobedient.
By the sleep time I am so tired I almost can't think anymore. And sudenly the girls are sweet, wash up, brush teeth, say sweet dreams to daddy and off to bed we go.... And hell begins. Crying little S and big S wiggling like a worm on a fishing hook. An hour later they are finaly asleep and I have to tidy up.
Little S is still waking up about three times a night, each time spending minimum one hour to fall asleep again. And they are completely awake (moooom I'm hungryyyy) at 7 am (that's if they actualy oversleep). Last 2 years I'm living on 4-5 hours of sleep (big S had a bit better sleep giving me about 6 hours). No day naps.
And I tried. Oh I tried. I've read thousands of articles writen by amazing mothers of five and women who spend lifetime working with kids about how to get them sleep, how to get them behave, how to get them listen, how to calm them, how to calm myself... Nothing worked. Nothing.
Please let me know if you actualy managed to explain your 6 month old baby that mommy realy needs to sleep. Because that's impossible even with the 4 year old... And you can repeat quadrilion times a day, they will forget what you said in like seconds. You can go out and prepare with "we will do this and that and go to play after" There will still be a public scene.
I definitely do not think I am a "good" mother. Realy I am terrible. But still... I am a mother who loves her two little animals more than anything else and I am not giving up.
So if you came for advise, wrong place, sorry. But if you just need to know that you are not alone, I'm here with you.
Your Lenny